I am
a monster.
I am a hideous creature, no longer human, created by a man with sadistic want and murderous intent. I am a project, thrown aside like a forgotten toy, gathering dust and cobwebs.
But I was human, once. I think. A long, long time ago, I had a soul. I had a heart. I had feelings. But then he stripped those things away from me.
Hojo...
That name still brings alive a fury buried deep within my veins.
I was twenty-seven when I died. But the torment of my emotions started long before then. When I was eighteen, I left my home, an action spurred by my horrific father whom I'd learned to hate over the course of my young years. He was a terrible man who hated all things, including himself, I'm sure. But he took it out on us my mother and myself. Even when I'd reached my full height of six feet, he still towered above me, able to physically overpower me whenever he wished to cause me pain. Mother, well, she was far too afraid of him to ever come to my aid. She comforted me only in the aftermath. By then, I was usually too far from consciousness to even hear her words.
I lived this hell for eighteen years, and then I left.
Only to find another hell.
The whole ShinRa Corporation was fascinating to me, something that I wished to further understand, even as a young boy. The Turks held even more of an appeal, and finally, after the last beating I could ever stand from my father, I decided to leave. I had nothing with me but five-hundred gil, a change of clothes, and the gun I'd been given as a gift from my grandfather just three years prior. I limped out of that door, having finally taken a swing back at my father. My mother was screaming, crying something unintelligible, and I remember my father shouting at her to shut up and get back inside, that I was useless, anyway, and that I'd probably be back. But if I did come back he'd kill me. I heard those words, and I grew angrier, a steady fury that seemed to increase with each offbeat step of mine.
On foot, I managed about fifteen percent of my thousand-mile journey. After that, I decided to put to use the small amount of money I had and conned a pretty blond into driving me to the border of the Western Continent. From there, I paid a decent fare for a ride in a large boat to the Eastern Continent, filled with others like myself others trying to escape something they wished they were never born into. While on that boat, I grew more and more frightened. What would I do if ShinRa didn't accept me? I was smart, talented, and an excellent marksman, so I could be hired for a number of different tasks, but what if?
I decided to push that sort of negativity out of my mind and concentrate on how to make myself seem most presentable. Upon reaching Junon after a very long walk and attacks from random inhospitable creatures that surrounded the area, I stayed in the town's Inn and freshened up, planning for my excursion the next morning, rehearsing the words I would say to the ShinRa president. If I would be granted a meeting with him. Sleep was difficult that night, though the bed comfortable and the night air crisp and clean. I found myself thinking of home, and what I had left, and if it had really been worth leaving the love of my mother and shelter that my father provided, though resentfully. My mind was in turmoil, but some time later, I eventually succumbed to the relentless need for sleep.
And I was plagued with nightmares. Perhaps it was a warning one that I never heeded.
"You don't love her. She doesn't love you. Let her do what she wants."
"You are a fool, Valentine. You were born a fool and you will die one."
"I'll kill you before you lay another hand on her!"
"Oh? What a coincidence."
BANG!
I awoke with a start, gasping and clutching at my heart. The remnants of the dream still drifted through my head in flashes, though I'd seen nothing. I just heard it. And the voices didn't make sense. One was mine, but the other who? My father, possibly? Perhaps I was defending my mother in the dream? Yes, that must have been it. I sighed, laying back down as I finally thought I'd figured out what it all meant. In this dream, I'd returned home, and planned on taking my mother away with me. But my father didn't like that. And true to his promise, he'd killed me. That was all. Just a simple dream.
But why did my father's voice sound so different and so evil?
Shaking it off, I closed my eyes and slowly fell back to sleep.
--------------------Part II--------------------
The next morning, I awoke at the crack of dawn. Surprisingly, I wasn't even the slightest bit tired. It may have been my excitement that countered my imminent exhaustion, and if so, I was grateful for it. I was hungry, but I decided to put food out of my mind until I was showered and dressed. Though the room was small, it was adequate for my needs. After emerging from the shower, I picked up the suit I'd laid carefully upon the bed and examined it. I'd bought it nearly a year ago. I'd known even then what I had planned to do with my life. But somehow I hadn't left home until now. Men and boys alike have their limits, and I suppose mine wasn't broken fully until two days ago.
Sighing, I shook my head as if to clear it of such memories, and brushed the navy blue suit off. I turned around and sat upon the bed, carefully pulling on first the trousers, and then buttoning up the chemise and blazer. Idly, I ran a hand through my still damp hair and blinked, realizing I hadn't even combed it. Standing, I moved to the bureau with the mirror that the Inn had provided and looked into it, picking up the brush that had luckily been in the backpack I'd brought the other things in with. As I ran the brush through my hair, I stared into the mirror at the boy no, the man that stood before me. That idea startled me. I set the brush back down onto the bureau, and, placing the palms of my hands on either side of it, leaned in closer to examine just who it was looking back at me from that reflecting window.
A young man, dressed smartly, watched me from that mirror. I didn't recognize him, really, with such a sharp suit clothing him. I squinted a bit and leaned closer to the mirror, opening my eyes fully once more to view the bright blue ones blinking back at me. The young man's jet-black hair framed his face, hanging in healthy strands to his shoulders, reflecting the light of the room in iridescent patches. I frowned, suddenly standing upright and watching the youthful face in the mirror with shock and disdain. On his left cheek, a bruise was forming, a sickly dark purple and yellow blotch marring the otherwise complete businessman look.
Furious, I turned from the mirror, gingerly laying a hand on the right side of my face. I winced a bit, and then brought my fist down on the top of the bureau. It wasn't right. How dare he destroy my chances for a meaningful life?
I forced myself to calm down, inhaling and exhaling slowly and methodically. It was nothing a little makeup couldn't fix.
Makeup?
I'd lost my mind. But I had to do it. I couldn't risk not being accepted into the ShinRa simply because my father treated me like a punching bag.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, I left the room, locking it behind me, and moved down the stairs to get a bit of breakfast. There weren't many people actually awake yet, which suited me just fine. I moved to the small bar and took a seat on a stool, flipping through a limited menu. After deciding upon a typical "potatoes and eggs" breakfast, I closed the menu and ordered, calmly. The bartender gave a fleeting glance to the side of my face and then nodded.
"Anything, else, sir?" he asked, on automatic.
No one ever called me "sir" before.
"Uh A glass of juice, too."
"All right, then. Your order will be out, shortly."
With that, he disappeared into the void that was, I supposed, the kitchen.
To ease the waiting, I decided to turn my attention upon the few others that were in the vicinity with me. As I looked to the right, a magnificent sight met touched my eyes. There, not even three seats down from me, sat a beautiful looking woman studying a similar menu, lovely auburn hair drifting down the sides of her face, neck and back. A silent awe took hold of me. Looking back on it, I suppose I must have looked foolish, indeed; a typical boy who'd discovered his hormones were in perfect working order. I didn't want to believe that, then. At the age of eighteen, I believed that I knew just about everything there was to the world, no questions asked. So, I sat there, gaping at her, until she finally must have felt my burning gaze and turned her face toward me.
Oh, Ifrit, there were stars in her eyes, the most beautiful I'd ever seen! She blinked them once at me, these holders of whole new galaxies, and still, I remained unmoved, caught in some sort of spell.
"Can I help you?"
I blinked, snapped out of my dream at the sudden realization that she was not just some gorgeous object, but someone who could speak as well as be viewed.
"I, uh" I stammered.
"Yes?" She blinked once more, moving a hand and placing her delicate fingers upon the small glasses perched smartly upon the bridge of her nose, adjusting them.
And then, suddenly an idea!
"I was wondering if you had any makeup"
She froze, one strip of an eyebrow arching upward in amazement.
Or amusement.
"Makeup? Whatever for?" her soft voice portrayed her incredibility, but still, I pressed on. I think, for men, there is a hidden gland in our bodies that have us say the most ridiculously stupid things to pretty women we first meet.
"I I'm in a play," I blurted, looking down at the table for a moment, trying to gather the yarn I'd spin for this lie. "And I have this bruise on my face, and what good would it be if I were to be seen on the stage like this?" I pointed to the blotch, and she nodded, eyebrow now settling back down to its rightful place.
"I suppose I have some coverup somewhere."
Why, why did she sing everything she said? It was so unbearably wonderful
She turned for a moment, rummaging in a purse at her side, and I watched, like a lovesick schoolboy, her every elegant movement. When finally she turned back to me, it was to hand me a small bottle of skin colored liquid. "That should work."
After a moment's pause, I nodded, smiling at her. "Oh, thank-you. You're most kind."
Next to her melodious one, my voice seemed so harsh and overbearing.
I took the bottle, delighting as our fingers met for one far too short moment, and examined it.
She watched me and tapped her chin with finely shaped nails.
"It would seem to me that someone of your demeanor wouldn't be in some play, but in a wonderful job that has something to do with appearance. Do you model?"
I started to say something in embarrassed objection, but then I noticed the playful twinkle in her eyes. I blinked and leaned back a bit, a smirk moving to my own lips. It was then that I decided to tell her the truth.
"You're a clever one. Yeah, I'm not in any play. I'm going to join ShinRa. That is, if they'll let me." I sighed and continued, turning the bottle about in my fingers. "I can't show up there with the guise of professionalism if I have a nasty old bruise on my face. I've got to hide it, you know?"
"It depends," she countered, softly, turning to face me completely, now. "If you're a fighter, then that would add to your credibility."
"But if they don't need fighters, that knocks me off the list for anything else."
"ShinRa? They always need soldiers."
"But I don't want to be just like everyone else," I said, suddenly. "All my life I've been hiding among others, blending in, just another statistic. Now that I finally left all that idiocy, I want a chance at being something different. Being a somebody."
She smiled, and I felt fireworks light off in my heart.
"You too, huh?"
I blinked. "What?"
"I just think it's funny, the way things work. I'm looking to ShinRa, too. Why else do you think I'd be up so damn early?" she laughed, and I smiled even wider.
"You're kidding."
"Nope."
"That's crazy!"
"Not really. I couldn't stand being in a small town, anymore."
"Where are you from?"
Her eyes grew suddenly dark, space without stars, and she looked away. "Don't worry about it. My business, not yours."
My heart sank, and I looked toward the ground. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." Surprisingly, the cheer was back in her voice. "It's just a history I don't want to discuss. We all have our skeletons in the closet, you know. And some of them need to stay there."
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
"Well, so when should we go?"
"We?"
"Yes, we're both going to ShinRa headquarters, aren't we? Why not go together?"
At that moment, I wanted to make love to Fate right then and there for offering me such a splendid opportunity.
"Sure!" I said, pleased. "We can leave right after breakfast, if you'd like."
"Sounds good." She smiled again and looked back toward the menu.
I sighed and closed my eyes in a moment of bliss. There we were, two young people with high hopes for an exciting future. Things were looking up. And I had a companion. Sort of.
I could only hope that my luck would continue to rise.
------------Part III------------
As we made our way below Junon, I discovered a bit more about my new friend, delighting in the way we easily made captivating conversation. She introduced herself as Lucrecia, a young woman who'd left home as well, but for reasons she refused to identify. I didn't press the issue, as I well knew how painful some memories could be. The longer we spoke, the more entranced I became with her. I'd never met anyone so smart around my own age. It it simply blew my mind. And the closer we came to reaching the gate of the ShinRa building, the harder I hoped that she and I would be accepted and stationed in the same sect. I knew that it was a fleeting dream, but I was young, and I hadn't yet been introduced to crushing disappointments of that caliber, yet. And, too, I noticed her glances to me, eyes wandering over my frame, and my hair, more often than any other part. I pondered questioning her about it, but decided against it. I didn't want to jinx anything so soon.
I'll admit, it made me a good deal self-conscious to realize that someone was admiring me. I wasn't used to that. I'd been too sheltered, too isolated. But that would all change very soon.
Hopefully.
Dressed for success, we reached the gate and were met by two ShinRa soldiers, guns poised as they coldly asked us our business. When we told them, they exchanged a secret glance, hidden behind those strange, dark eye-masks, and nodded. One of them used something unfamiliar to me to summon an ambassador of sorts, and we waited, feeling awkward and nervous, and certainly out of place. Lucrecia and I said nothing, but our mere presence together seemed to offer a comfort words could never give. We stood, side by side, nearly touching as we waited, sweating under the burning gaze of the guards. After a good five minutes, a stocky man, dressed in the omnipresent dark blue ShinRa attire, toddled up to use, rubbing his chin and grunting. I think he was inspecting us as if we were some sort of livestock, looking us over for strength and any sign of disease. It was rather demeaning, really, standing there in that torturous silence, waiting for a single word that seemed it may never come. I looked over to Lucrecia, and she, too, seemed about as comfortable as I was. Nevertheless, the both of us bore it. It was what we truly wanted. We'd traveled far and left behind a good deal of pain, and we weren't about to turn tail now at the first sign of discomfort.
The short man wriggled his mustache a bit, taking off his oversized glasses and rubbing them with his sleeve.
"Yes, and what do you want, hmmm?" he mumbled, gruffly. "We've got plenty of ya'. What can you offer that you think we don't have?"
"But sir," I started, the first sign of panic fluttering in my chest, "Every person is unique-"
"Insulting my judgment and intelligence are you? Harumph. Go on back from where you came."
"You're not even giving us a chance," Lucrecia replied, hotly. "You don't even know who we are or what we can do. Certainly you can give us at least an interview with the president."
The little man blinked and guffawed with laughter. "That's a good one, doll. At least ye got a sense o' humor. But we haven't got any need for jesters. Now go on, shoo."
Fury boiled inside my veins at his careless dismissal. He treated us as if we were sub-human. Lucrecia and I took a wary step back as the guards advanced on us with malevolent air. I couldn't stand it. Not after all I'd gone through to get here. I couldn't let my father's words come true. I couldn't be a failure!
And something inside of me snapped. I quickly turned my head to Lucrecia and looked at her intently for all of half a second. Something of a silent communication seemed to pass between us in that short span of time. As the man was already walking back through the opening gates, I withdrew the gun I'd brought on my journey and made a quick shot at one of the guards' guns. The bullet hit its mark, and sent the weapon flying out of the guard's hand. The other one cursed and raised the gun to shoot at me, but I was too quick. I threw myself to the ground, tucking into a roll, and in a matter of seconds, I was on my feet, with the gun to the guard's neck. I felt him tense, and a smile found its way to my lips. I reveled in this sudden moment of power, and took the time to whisper into his ear, like an angel of death.
"Drop it, or I'll kill you," I purred, lethally.
Meanwhile, Lucrecia seemed to catch on, and she crouched, lashing her foot into the path of the other guard who was running to his companion's rescue. He fell to the floor with a painful thud, and Lucrecia nailed him expertly in the back of the head with the heel of her palm. He was out.
Now, I felt my captive grow nervous, even trembling.
"Don't kill me," he nearly whimpered, and I felt disgust at his cowardice.
"Boy," the old man's voice spoke sharply from the distance. "Don't you do it. You kill him, and you'll get death, yourself. Do you realize where you are?"
He was in apparent shock, and I loved it. I grinned to Lucrecia, motioned my head behind me, to where the now open gates stood, and applied pressure to the guard's neck. His body became limp, and I let him go. He sagged to the ground, in the same stream of consciousness as his fellow soldier. With that, I turned and held my weapon up in direct aim of the ambassador. His face drained of color, and he froze, not quite sure what to do.
"Boy, put that down this instant!"
"Vincent!"
I looked away for the moment at Lucrecia's frantic face.
"The alarms! They'll be everywhere! Let's just get out of here!"
But I couldn't do that. Not now.
"Come on, Lucrecia! We can get to the president. We didn't kill anyone, and this is a great way to prove our worth. Come on!"
I didn't realize it, but I was nearly laughing with joy as I shouted the words. It was true. Fate had once again opened a window of opportunity, and I went leaping through it. But would she agree?
"You're crazy, Vincent!" she exclaimed, running toward me as she did, looking behind her, cautiously. "Let's hurry."
Overjoyed and pumped full of adrenaline, I grabbed her hand, and we bolted past the ambassador, running in the direction of the ShinRa building, which was a good quarter of a mile in the distance, but still attainable. As we ran through the streets, the alarms rang in our ears, which only spurred us to run faster and to become more cunning. Soldier after soldier appeared from doorways and buildings; some running after us, others shooting at us. Some hidden facet took over for me, and I ran, crouching, Lucrecia miming my actions, as bullets whizzed over our heads. We skidded around a corner, and it was then that I noticed a door. I tried it, and it was locked. Lucrecia let out a very unladylike curse, and I blinked at her, grinning wryly.
"Worry, not," I said as I aimed my gun at the keycard lock on the door. One shot and many sparks later, we entered the forbidden domicile, now in some sort of underground alleyway. Hearing shouts behind us, I dashed down the corridor, Lucrecia in tow.
"Vincent, honestly, you're going to get us killed!"
"And you love the suspense," I retorted with a grin.
"I guess I do." She grinned and put on a sudden burst of speed, overtaking me. "Over here. A duct. They'll blow right by us."
She was perfect
I nodded, and caught up to her, standing on tiptoe and ripping the duct covering off. She was shorter than I, so I leaned down and gave her a sort of boost, like one would give a chocobo jockey. She leaped up into the duct and then reached her hand down, assisting me up. The moment I was safely inside, I replaced the covering, and we both shimmied up as quickly and quietly as we could. We heard voices echoing below us and footsteps rushing past us. I smiled and looked to Lucrecia.
"That was impressive," I whispered.
"What? You expected something less?" She returned my smile and gave my leg a pinch. "Come on, now. We've got a meeting to get to."
I jumped a little at the tweak and laughed, softly. "Yes, ma'am!" I began crawling forward.
Twenty minutes later, we decided that perhaps the duct wasn't such a good idea. We'd been crawling about in the dust and murk for what seemed like an eternity. Cobwebs decorated our hair and our pristine suits were now covered in grime. It was disheartening to say the least, but we'd made our bed, and now we had to sleep upon it.
"Vincent, if we don't get out of here soon, I'm going to lose my mind," Lucrecia whispered, sounding terribly overwhelmed.
"It can't be much longer," I said back, with more confidence than I felt. "And then this will all be worth it. I promise it."
"I hate it when people break promises to me," she said, a bit coldly.
My breath caught in my throat for a moment. The last thing I wanted to do to Lucrecia was to lie to her, let alone hurt her at all. But I had to provide comfort stability. It was needed sometimes. And now, I felt the obligation to offer it.
"I'm serious, Lucrecia. I'm sure it just around this next turn."
She remained silent, and I let out a small sigh, tiredly crawling forward on hands and knees that hurt terribly. We rounded the bend in the piping and lo and behold, there was a speck of light shining through an ill cared for vent covering. With renewed strength, I shimmied toward it, peering through the dusty grating.
"I don't know where it is, but I think it might be some sort of house. Maybe the ShinRa mansion?"
"Don't be silly," she said, with a sigh. "Everyone knows the ShinRa mansion is in Nibelheim."
"Oh."
Subdued, I simply focused my efforts to pushing the grating out. Within a reasonable amount of time, I accomplished just that, and winced as it fell to the floor with an obnoxiously loud 'clang'. We both froze for the moment, expecting alarms and guards to fly in from nowhere. When none came, we thawed, and lowered ourselves carefully to the ground, stretching out stiff muscles and recoiling at the dirt that covered us.
"We're done for. Who'll take us seriously, now? We look like two beggars from the streets."
"Battle scars," I said, plainly. I, too, was worried for our well being. What would happen, now?
Trying to push that thought out of my mind, I began to look around the room. It seemed old and abandoned, though not dusty or dirty. Just empty. I wiped what dirt I could from my suit and moved toward the door of the room which was slightly ajar, enough to let in a bit of curious light from beyond it. Lucrecia followed, picking cobwebs from her hair, as I slowly and methodically eased the door open enough to see out.
"Good gods," I whispered, backing away and remaining perfectly still, matted hair clinging to my face. "We're in the ShinRa building."
"We are?" Lucrecia whispered, excitement evident upon her pretty face. "That's great!"
I shook my head. "The place is crawling with guards. We'll never get past them without getting caught or killed."
Lucrecia pursed her lips in thought, delicate brows furrowing. "We can sneak by them, I'm sure. We just have to use our heads." She mused as she walked around the room, surveying it. "Here."
She bent down near a box that was halfway open, pulling out something white and wrapped in plastic. I blinked suspiciously, and moved a bit closer to get a better look.
"It's a labcoat, silly. We can pose as doctors or technicians."
"You're wise for your young years," I said, slightly in awe at her quick solution. I, too, withdrew one of the coats from the box, and pulled it out of the plastic. After examining it, I blinked. "But we don't have any ID."
"Won't need it. We just walk around as if we belong here. Come on, you're an actor, aren't you?" She gave me a wink, and I felt suddenly compelled to agree and follow along behind any plan she might concoct. And, after a cautious viewing of our surroundings by the door, she stepped out, head held high, adjusting her glasses, as I followed behind, slightly less astute, as I was far more nervous. I was no doctor. So much for typecasting.
We walked right by at least ten ShinRa guards and officials, without so much as a glance from them, and stepped inside of the elevator and stood, clueless, looking at score of buttons on the side to press. We had no idea which floor the president's office was on. As if sensing our confusion, a younger looking soldier pointed to number thirty-two. "You'll want to go there," he said, with a nod before stepping to the back of the cubicle. Lucrecia and I exchanged looks, and then I shrugged and hit the button. The elevator lurched upward and we waited for our destination. A ping later, the door slid open, and Lucrecia and I stepped out of the elevator, hesitantly. We were surrounded by white walls and other ShinRa representatives dressed similarly to us.
"What do we do, now?" Lucrecia whispered to me as we stood there, apparent fish out of water.
"You're asking me?" I said, blinking. "I don't know any of this doctor business. The ball's in your field."
"But I'm not good at sports."
"Now's as good a time as any to learn."
"But-"
"You two!"
A sharp voice exploded from in front of us and we both jumped, looking straight ahead to see who was addressing us. A tall, thin man in a labcoat with long, black hair tied in the back and glasses perched upon his nose glared down at us, bird-eyes glistening with a hidden madness that made my stomach turn.
"Why are you just standing here like two cactrots in headlights?"
My head reeled as he snapped his words at us. His voice was a cutting tenor, sharper than a razor. And so familiar. But how? I was sure I'd never seen him before in my entire life.
As the man's lithe form bore down on us with its icy glare, more and more people began to slow down and stop, taking in the scene that was unfolding. I began to break into a sweat. We'd be found out, for sure.
"Professor Hojo?" Lucrecia's song-sweet voice rang out over the cacophony of silence that threatened to overwhelm me.
The man arched a brow, slowly turning his cruel eyes to Lucrecia. "Yes? What? You'd best have an explanation for this stupid behavior."
"That's them!"
I turned, with a gasp, to find a handful of ShinRa guards running at us from the elevator.
We'd been discovered.
Suddenly, I was no longer the hero that wished for adventure. My senses coagulated and then froze into one solid mass of confusion and panic. Lucrecia moved closer to me, and I subconsciously took hold of her hand, squeezing it tightly. She reciprocated the grip and we watched as soldiers surrounded us.
"Put your hands in the air," one of them barked. "You move and we shoot, capiche?"
Lucrecia and I nodded numbly, now just two kids who had managed to get themselves into a heck of a lot of trouble. We raised arms above our heads and endured the soldiers' hands as they searched us for weapons or bombs or goodness knows what else. Taken away was my trusty gun, and gone was Lucrecia's back-satchel. Professor Hojo, meanwhile, seemed to watch in sadistic amusement.
"I suppose that's a decent explanation, then," he said, chuckling. I growled to myself as I watched his predatorial gaze fall over Lucrecia's form. The hungry look that spread itself across his face was nearly more than I could bear. I wanted to lunge at him, knock him aside, but I could not, for as these thoughts crossed my mind, my arms were forced behind me, my hands bound together by some state of the art cuffs. Lucrecia hung her head as she, too, was taken captive.
The thought that I'd failed in my attempt to overcome all odds was crushing.
Hojo smirked the entire time, crossing his arms and surveying the scene with an air of acceptance. He leaned toward Lucrecia suddenly, and spoke in her ear. He must not have wanted it to be kept from me, however, as I heard every word.
"Do not fret, my lovely bird," he hissed, "They usually go easy on first time offenders especially pretty ladies like you. We always have uses for your kind"
I saw a flash of anger rise to Lucrecia's face, but I'm sure its intensity could not match mine at that very moment. I set my eyes upon Hojo, narrowing them in warning. He saw me saw my feverish, angry gaze, and only laughed.
"Look at the fire in this young one! How enticing."
The soldiers blinked at Hojo in seeming confusion, then went about their business, pushing Lucrecia and me back toward the elevator. I made sure, however, to look over my shoulder, back at the form of the professor, and glare a warning to him.
Hojo smiled, slowly, and blew me a kiss.
Unnerved, I looked away. Something about the man was pure evil, one that I'd never before encountered. My father was big, mean and stupid. He was not evil. This man
He was dangerous. And I knew it, even then. Even before the... accident...
-------------Part IV-------------
What followed, thereafter, was strange, indeed. Both Lucrecia and I were escorted straight to the president. It made no sense, really, considering they were now delivering us to the person they were previously trying to stop us from reaching. Adverse our preconceived notions on how the president would act, he was really quite bumbling. We received a sound scolding, laden with threats of what could have happened to us, had he not showed us his "mercy" due to our proven potential as ShinRa associates.
Yes, that is to say, we were accepted. My plan had worked, despite the doubt I'd felt at our arrest. We'd shown these arrogant, self-righteous "invincible" soldiers that we could outwit them. We, mere whelps in this game of politics and warfare!
And so began our careers. Our paths, however, strayed apart. Lucrecia's heart was in science, and mine in combat and investigation. Our departures were sad, for we both had to accomplish, first, the basic training for our departments. I was sure I'd never see her, again, and it tore my heart to pieces
After the three months of hell, I'd managed to surge ahead of my comrades in rank through skill; mainly marksmanship and wit. To my delight, I was one day propositioned by the ShinRa president, himself, to become one of the Turks, a highly paid and respected group of assassins and investigators, as well as protectors. Thrilled, I accepted. While on duty, I was always sharply dressed in a dark blue suit, typical uniform of Turks, and white gloves. Through it, I learned the importance of image. Clean cut and never unkempt, I built myself up amongst my comrades and earned their respect. And then, I was whisked away into the joy of sociality.
Oh, the fun I had! After work's strict regimentation, on those nights off, we'd kick back with some alcohol and various other stimulants, and just have a good time, throwing caution to the wind. I must admit, it was rather nice opening up to others like myself. We'd laugh and act silly, (always in the privacy of one of our houses, of course) and simply have fun, enjoying our youth, and living comfortably with the generous salary that a Turk earns.
Many of my friends had significant others. I suppose, even then, my heart was still stuck on Lucrecia. I guess there was a vain hope inside of me that we would meet again. But nothing of it could be said to the others. They'd have thought me crazy.
Instead, they probably just thought me queer for not making the moves on "hot chicks" or responding to their advances when they found me.
And it was always the hair that attracted them. And the intensity of my eyes. But I never saw in them what I saw in Lucrecia; be it intelligence, candid feelings, or just plain spirit.
So I was a loner in that aspect. And yes, sometimes I felt twinges of jealousy when I saw the guys kissing and holding their girls. But it was my own fault, was it not? My own choice. So I had little room to harbor envy...
Then, years later, at the age of 27, and after many assignments and experiences, I received a new order. Three other Turks and I were to keep watch over a group of scientists in the actual ShinRa building. I thought it odd, since the building would already be under heavy security. I pointed this out to the president, but he said that it had something to do with a very special project that must never be tampered with or discovered by any outside eyes.
I had little room to argue, so I simply nodded and went on my way. The next day, our relocation moved us to that fated floor of my arrest upon my first visit to the ShinRa building. I stepped through the doors of the laboratory, quirking a brow at he scampering people in lab-coats and the nauseating smell of various chemicals. My coworkers and I moved through the last secured door to meet with the people that we were to protect.
My jaw nearly hit the ground when I was met with the sight of the beautiful Lucrecia.
She, too, looked stunned, and a smile spread itself over her face.
"Vincent?" she breathed, moving closer to me and squinting as if to make sure it was really I. I nodded, the normal, stoic "Turk" expression on my face giving way to a smile as wide as hers. I nodded, but made no move to embrace her, as it would have looked terribly unprofessional in front of the others. Instead, I forced myself only to take her hand to shake it adding an extra squeeze and keeping hold of her hand a little longer than I should have. I watched her face as I stepped back after finally releasing her small, gloved hand and frowned, noticing a sadness flicker into her eyes. Before I could contemplate why, another man stepped into the room.
A man that made my blood boil.
"Yes, yes, all of this is quite important, you see. Any word of this gets out, and all your asses are on the line," Dr. Hojo hissed to Freija and Litts, my fellow guardians in this endeavor, as he moved into the room Lucrecia and I occupied. He paused, mid-step, as he spotted me, a surprised look on his face. "You're a Turk?" he asked, incredulously. "You're the little hoodlum that flopped in here with her a few years ago." He made a careless gesture toward Lucrecia, who instantly turned away and began to attempt to "look busy". "Anyway," he continued, "the same follows with you. Screw this up, and I'll make sure the best job you get on this planet is janitorial duty in the Gold Saucer."
I clenched my fists and jaw in anger at his statement. Who did he think he was, speaking to me, like that? Me, a valued Turk, for Shiva's sake! Frieja and Litts didn't look happy with his attitude, either, and they looked to me for
What? Guidance? I was pissed off; most irresponsible of me, considering my present position. I couldn't offer any guidance at the moment, as I was too busy trying to keep myself from unloading a round of bullets into Hojo's empty head.
"Don't worry, Hojo," I spat, vehemently. "Nothing will touch you while we're around."
Or when we're not around, I thought, with a smirk. Not even with a ten foot pole.
"See to it that your statement remains true. Should word of this project get out" He stopped and just shrugged, removing his glasses and wiping them with his sleeve. "Your simple mind couldn't comprehend the havoc that would follow. Just do your job."
Before I could respond, he disappeared back through the door in a flurry of black hair and white coat.
"Asshole," I muttered, shaking my head. Frieja nodded her agreement and shrugged, blond ponytail tossing almost comically as she did so.
"He's pretty much a complete jerk," she said, quietly, moving to the side of the room. "Just keep out of his way and don't let him see that he's actually pissed you off. I think that sort of thing fuels him."
"I can't believe I have to look out for his well being."
"Well, believe it. Some parts of this job can really suck."
I snorted. "Yes, well, thank-you, Captain Obvious."
"What?" she said, blinking. "Some people are idiots, but you have to put up with them and do what they say. It's just the way capitalism works."
"It still sucks."
Litts laughed as Frieja sighed and threw up her hands in frustration. "Eh, let him vent, Fri. Goodness knows we're not allowed to do much else in while we're in these damn suits."
Frieja remained silent, and I chuckled.
"He's not all that bad." Lucrecia's soft voice, just as I remembered it, suddenly cut through the silence.
I couldn't help but laugh as I moved toward her. "Sure, Lu." Throwing that thought aside, I moved to take her hand in mine, once more. "I've missed you, you know."
"As I've missed you," she said, her voice still very soft and subdued. She didn't even look into my eyes as she spoke.
Again, I pushed forward, chalking her behavior up to simple shock. "I've thought of you, often."
"Even through the years?"
"Even through the years."
I moved my eyes to Litts and Frieja, and as if on cue, they decided to go "patrol" other rooms in the lab. Upon their departure, I moved my hand to Lucrecia's chin, and gently tilted it upward, so that she had no choice but to look into my face.
"You're different," I said, plainly, blinking my eyes several times.
"Yes" she said, as if dazed, "It's been so long since that fateful day"
"Well, I could fill you in about the time that's passed over dinner, if you'd like."
"I can't," she said, quickly, looking about almost fearfully. "I I have too much work to do. I can't leave the lab."
I scratched my head a bit and moved a step back. "Well, neither can I, silly. That's why we'd order in." I chuckled.
Lucrecia's starry eyes grew sad and she looked away, holding out her hand. "I really can't," she whispered, a bit mournfully.
There, on her finger, was a golden ring, a bright flash reflecting off of it from the overhead lighting.
An engagement ring.
My heart broke right in two at that very moment, and I took several steps, backward, my movements clumsy and tense. I took a minute to gather my wits, and then breathed in deeply, addressing her once more.
"So, who's the lucky man?" I asked, stiffly, though I tried to hide my hurt and disappointment.
She took a long time in answering, and already I knew what the answer must be.
"Professor Hojo," she said, quietly, closing her eyes as she turned away.
Now, my apathetic exterior broke, and I gaped, blinking at her. "What?"
"You heard me," she replied, cooly.
"Do you love him? And more importantly, does he love you? I don't think that man could love anybody," I nearly growled, crossing my arms in front of me, my expression darkening further.
"What was I supposed to do? Spend all my life waiting for someone I'd only known for three days? I'm already twenty-six, and I'm not getting any younger. And Hojo"
"What? Please tell me what that anal retentive, poor excuse for a human being could do for you."
She narrowed her eyes and continued. "He provides stability and and a great many other things! I care about him and he cares about me."
"I'll believe it when I see it."
"You will!"
"Fine, then." I turned my back on her, heart bleeding and head swimming at the sudden introduction of how cruel reality could be. "Go ahead and work on your precious Project. I'll just be around making sure no one comes intrudes."
I heard her sigh and felt a gentle touch upon my back. "Don't hate me for something I couldn't predict," she spoke, quietly. I turned and blinked down at her, at the pretty face with stained-glass eyes that showed the beauty of her soul. "There was no way of knowing that I'd ever see you again."
"I know," I replied, softly. "I know. Don't worry. I can't hate you." I smiled and moved toward the door. "But I do have a job to do, and a damn lot of good it will do me to be caught huffing around like a territorial gnoll."
She nodded with a very small smile and turned back to her stacks of paper. I watched her for a moment, and then moved back toward the doors that Litts and Freija had passed through.
My hopes had been dashed, but I had a responsibility that I simply couldn't shirk.
But all I really wanted to do at the time was to curl up under a rock and lick my inner wounds.
-------------Part V-------------
The weeks passed and the Jenova Project continued, uninterrupted. Unfortunately, as the days progressed, so did my affection for Lucrecia. I'm not quite sure what was wrong with me. It's as if my Id took complete control of my actions and feelings.
And let's also understand that being a bodyguard can be very boring work. So I had quite a lot of time for thoughts to fester. Lucrecia seemed distracted, as well, and Hojo began to notice it. His contempt for me grew by the hour. Yet my standing as a Turk prevented him from completely berating me at every turn. It bothered him and that suited me just fine. I was young and foolish. I didn't think that such antics could have any sort of bad consequences, so I continued the silent taunting.
Of course, Hojo got in his kicks, as well. I couldn't bear the idea of him laying his hands all over delicate Lucrecia. Seeing it with my own eyes nearly drove me ballistic. Usually I had to vacate the area before I exploded. Had I caused damage to him, I'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble. ShinRa doesn't tolerate such nonsense.
Of course what Lucrecia and I did was inexcusable. Yes, it was an affair, plain and simple. The guilt for it still plagues me to this day. As I said, I could not help my actions. Somehow my mind had been charmed into letting my emotions take over for a while, and all hell broke loose. I loved her, more than anything in the world. And I promised myself that I would always love her, no matter the circumstance. Come what may, I would be there for her in love, forever. That was something I knew Hojo could never do.
Then something strange began to happen. Lucrecia's stomach began to grow. At first I didn't realize it, but as weeks passed into months, the expansion of her abdomen was quite noticeable.
Was she pregnant?
And if so with whose child?
This was very bad.
Of course, Lucrecia didn't seem bothered by it at all. She simply continued on her way, buried in files and beakers. You'd have thought that she had no idea what her body was going through.
Dr. Hojo acted oblivious to it all. His disgust of my presence remained, but it grew no more and no less. And this brought me to a new conclusion. Either he was sure the child was his or he didn't know about ouraffair. I wasn't sure which I preferred, but I knew I had to ask Lucrecia about it. I'd put it off for far too long. I decided, then, that I would ask her the next night, and put a stop to my wondering.
The sun set on the next day, and once again, I was patrolling the sixty-fifth floor laboratory. I was worried, as Lucrecia seemed unusually scarce that day. Perhaps she just had a lot of work to do. Certainly it made sense. This "Jenova Project" seemed a fairly huge endeavor of ShinRa's. Almost suspicious, really. But far be it from me to question it.
I heard the sound of glass breaking, and I spun, immediately. Litts and Freija weren't around on this sector. They had been sent to opposite ends. With eyes narrowed, I turned, hand on my gun, and crept quietly into one darkened room to another, with the prowess of a feline on the hunt. I paused before a double door and froze, listening, as I heard two familiar voices.
"Oh, get off it, Lucrecia. You're a scientist for Ramuh's sake. Think of the possibilities!" Hojo said, evidently frustrated.
"It's our child, Hojo. How can you even think of turning it into an experiment? Turning me into an experiment? Don't I mean more to you than that?" Lucrecia voice seemed on the edge of hysteria.
"Think of what it could do for our son! Sephiroth could be a almost a god, if this goes correctly."
"I am not an animal, and neither is he!"
"You'll do it, Lucrecia. Gast has ordered it."
"Professor Gast can go screw himself and get impregnated and then mess with the outcome with his damn body!"
"Lucrecia"
"Get away from me! Don't touch me-"
Suddenly, there was the sound of flesh striking flesh, and I heard Lucrecia cry out.
"Never speak to me that way again, Lucrecia. You'll go through with this, or I'll see you discharged from ShinRa."
"Please Hojo stop Not now not here"
"I'll do what I want, when I want."
"But they'll hear"
"Who? Valentine? That street rat they let into the establishment for whom you care so dearly? He won't hear you. He's on post four rooms down."
A pause.
"Why, Lucrecia, you look absolutely ravishing without that murky old lab coat," he chuckled.
His hands on her. His eyes on her. His lips on her
It was more than I could stand.
With a savage growl, I burst through the doors, glaring at Hojo with a fury I'd never before encountered. Hojo's jaw dropped and he let go of Lucrecia, who was nearly half-naked by his hands, her small form nearly limp under his spell. She hit the floor and laid there for a moment, gathering herself. Hojo, meanwhile, regained his usual stature and stared at me, with a smirk playing at his thin lips.
"Well, well. What have we here? A Turk in the wings?"
"Hojo, you son of a bitch. I heard every word. What kind of sick experiments are you running? And on humans? On your fellow scientist, of all things?"
"Your inferior mind is not meant for such knowledge, pretty boy."
"Fuck you. And look at her," I nearly roared, gesturing to Lucrecia, who was leaning against a cabinet, pulling together what was left of her torn blouse. "Did you rape her every night? Is this your sick idea of fun? Get away from her," I snarled.
Hojo laughed, stepping a few feet away from the trembling Lucrecia, a Lucrecia who I did not recognize with such fear in her eyes.
"Vincent, you're so forceful," Hojo said softly, moving toward me, those reptilian eyes fixed on mine. I felt myself falter and move back a step before clearing my mind.
"Are you mad?" I stammered for a moment, staring at him.
He smiled. "Some say I am. Others call it simply genius." That insane edge in his voice prevalent, now. "What I do, I do for the sake of science. My name will be worldwide. I'll see to it. And our son," he said, gesturing toward Lucrecia, "is the first step. One of many."
"I won't let you turn her into a damn test tube!"
"Ah, Vincent," he purred, moving toward me again, this time, circling, with predatory air. "There's not much you can do to stop me. I have more power than you do. And I'm sure President ShinRa will be most displeased to learn that you were snooping about."
"I heard something break. I was investigating it. That's what I'm here for, you buffoon."
"Who will they believe, Vincent? Me or someone of newer blood whose done far less for them than I? You decide."
I responded with a lunge, grasping him by the collar and shoving him against the nearest wall, quite violently.
"You lying scum," I hissed, eyes narrowed into slits. "You filthy bastard. You will not get away with this."
"Oh, won't I?" He seemed less than bothered by my closeness and grip on his person. He looked up into my eyes, smiling all the while. Disgusted, I released him, and moved back, looking toward Lucrecia, who was now standing.
"Hojo, I'm leaving," she stated, plainly, moving her tousled hair behind her ears.
"No one is leaving," the scientist said, rather ominously. "I'm on the verge of something too big to have it messed up by some stupid attempted heroics. Wake up kiddies," he continued, in a hiss. "Fairy tales aren't real. There are no happy endings. Get over it."
I watched him for a moment, then clenched my fists. "You don't love her. She doesn't love you. Let her do what she wants."
My head began to throb, suddenly, and the familiarity of the situation began to nauseate me. Why did it seem as if I'd done this, before?
"You are a fool, Valentine. You were born a fool, and you will die one," Hojo murmured, head down, hair covering his face as his hands fell to his pockets.
Infuriated, I took a step toward him. "I'll kill you before you lay another hand on her!"
"Oh?" he said, looking up, suddenly. "What a coincidence."
I saw his hand move, and Lucrecia scream something about a gun. I noticed his hand come flying out of his pocket, something black and shiny inside of it. Before I had time to react, there was a loud sound, a gunshot, and a great pain in my chest. I let out an agonized scream and fell to the ground, one hand clutched over the hole in my chest over my heart.
"VINCENT!" a distant voice screamed in the blackness that clouded my senses. "Noooooooooooooooooo!"
I remember coughing, and a lot of pain. Something warm and sticky oozed out of my mouth, which felt suspiciously like what was leaking from the gunshot wound. I tried to speak, but simple motion was too much effort, and brought only more pain. My breath began to come in gasps, and then suddenly, I couldn't focus enough energy simply to inhale or exhale. It was all clogged with blood. In that blackness of death, I heard laughter Hojo's but he seemed so very far away, miles and miles and dimensions, maybe. I couldn't tell if my eyes were opened or closed, and suddenly, I just seemed to float. A very bright light exploded in front of my eyes, and I jolted, then began toward it, traveling on legs that I couldn't feel. A sudden peace filled my being, like I'd never before known. I think I smiled perhaps not in my physical body.
But then something went very wrong. The brilliant light winked out and I felt as if I was dropped thousands of feet straight down. Pain returned, and the consciousness of being alive. I felt my organs working again, my blood flowing and the reality of a throbbing pain in my head. And eyes. I had my eyes, again.
I opened them, squinting, as a newborn infant, and was met by the sight of the mad scientist, Hojo, leering over my form, scalpel in hand.
I screamed.
Part VI
------Part VI------
"My goodness, what a loud mouth you have there, Mister Valentine."
The pain, my gods, the pain was incredible! I was bound, somehow, my hands above my head, held tight by cold metal, as were my feet, and I was stripped to the bare minimum of clothing. The utter horror of being helpless at the hands of this sadistic beast...
"Hojo, for the love of the Ancients, stop it!" I screamed as the scalpel continued to sever into the flesh of my chest. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"My dear test subject," the scientist spoke, matter-of-factly as he carved into my skin, "I am simply labeling you as what you have become."
I fought for breath, the pain forcing my gasps to become short and agonized. "You sick fuck," I growled as sweat ran down my temples. "What have you done?"
Hojo stopped his artistry long enough to bring his hand sharply against the side of my face, shocking my senses even further. I blinked, tasting blood against my teeth, metallic and bitter.
"You," Hojo hissed into my ear, taking hold of my hair roughly and jerking it back as I winced, "You are no longer a free willed human being, my scandalous wretch. You are sub-human. You are my creation. You are utterly mine to do with as I wish. Can your feeble mind comprehend those words?"
"Son of a bitch," I hissed through my teeth, chest still burning from the bleeding wounds. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Quite a short memory span you have there, pretty one." Hojo stood, glaring down at me as I squirmed, confused to hell and back as to what was going on. "Did you forget that you died?"
Suddenly the memory of the scream and the shot and the bright light came charging back to me, and I squeezed my eyes shut. "No if I died, then where am I?" I continued, dazed and quite distraught at my present position.
"Because I am playing God, your God, and I brought you back to life." Hojo smirked.
"Why?"
"Why ask such questions? I know of your affair with Lucrecia. I know of your hatred and scorn of me. And you were getting too nosy, Turk or not. So I took care of the problem."
"That doesn't answer why you 'brought me back to life'," I said, with a cough.
A smile slowly spread across Hojo's birdlike face. "Because, Vincent," he said, in a deceivingly soft coo, "I find you fascinating. And having you at my mercy is all but heaven to me."
"You monster!" I roared, thrashing wildly in an attempt to get free. This was appalling. "Let me go, you sick bastard!"
Hojo leaned back down toward me and I felt my heart flutter with panic. "Let you go? Why would I do that? The fun's just started." He grinned and brought the scalpel back into my line of sight. I paled.
"Now let's see How much blood can the undead lose before completely eliminating vitality?"
I was vaguely aware of the sound of my own screams as the bite of the knife continued to gnaw into my flesh. It hurt so badly that that it just stopped hurting after a while. Soon, it became only a persistent burning that seemed to penetrate not only my skin, but my insides, as well. It would only be a matter of time until the nerve endings went, dead, right? I took a strange, delirious comfort in that as I stared with moistened eyes at the ceiling. Hojo continued to carve away on my body, but I ignored it, pleased that I was finally able to do so. A few more minutes passed while I endured the burning, and the man stopped and looked at me. He leaned over my face, his own dark hair falling onto my tear stained cheek. Still, I did not look at him. I stared past him into the nothingness that the ceiling offered.
"Wake up, my boy," Hojo said, slapping me, again. Stunned, my gaze was forced away from its target until it locked onto Hojo. I tried to focus to see him through the blur of pain, but could not. Instead I felt this incredible sensation like I was lifting, but my body wasn't. Perhaps my soul was trying to join the Lifestream to return to the planet and escape this horror. The thought of that filled me with a joy, and I tried to aid myself, closing my eyes and enjoying that euphoric sensation of floating.
"Damn you, Valentine, I'm not through with you, yet!"
Another stinging slap forced my eyes open, and I blinked stupidly at the doctor's form. "Clearly you're unable to lose anymore blood, despite my altercations."
He shook his head and stroked a long, thin finger down my cheek, wiping away the moisture. "My poor little Valentine. You were a Turk, once almost as well respected as a SOLDIER would have been. But look at you, now. You're nothing. You're not even human."
How can I not be human? I was born human...
I wished to question this but the thought of moving my lips and the fatigue and pain it would bring discouraged me.
"How do you feel, Valentine?"
His words are so far away.
"Apparently a bit ill. Hmmm."
I felt him staring at me I felt it, and I dizzily rolled my eyes downward to make sure that this premonition was true. Indeed, it was. But he seemed to be staring above my head where my hands were held. A smile lit upon his lips, suddenly, and I saw him walk away for a moment. I found the hidden strength to squirm and test my bonds, but to my utter disappointment, I was still held fast. And since I'd dared to move, my body rewarded me with an even sharper burning sensation, and I squeezed my eyes shut, tightly, trying to wait it out.
That was when I felt something tickling my arm, then gripping it. I opened my eyes for a moment, waiting for my vision to stop swimming, and for the clouds in it to vanish. Before I could see what was happening, I heard something whisk through the air and then a warm feeling somewhere above my elbow. Had he injected me with something? I twisted my head upward to try and see
And I screamed.
Suddenly a ferocious, merciless pain erupted in my arm and caused me to jolt upward, despite my body's exhaustion.
He'd He'd severed my hand... and part of my arm in the process.
"HOJO, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!"
I howled in agony, pride forgotten as tears streamed down my face, anew. My throat and lungs burned from the constant sound that issued from me. I was living in a world of perpetual pain. Always, at some point, there was a great hurt, be it stinging, biting, or burning. And now now I bled horribly as my body fought to understand why such an important limb had been removed after all the hell it had dealt with.
"Vincent, Vincent!" Hojo cried, feigning a maternal tone as he leaned over my helpless form again, bony fingers caressing my face. "I only do this because I care about my work. If I am to make you a complete monster, you have to look like one, do you not? Be thankful that I choose not to ruin that beautiful face of yours with a well placed splash of acid."
Oh, he was evil, pure evil, and I hated him with the core of my whole being. How much longer would this go on? Would I never die again, no matter what was done to me?
"Why?" I managed to gag, whimpering like a child, betrayed.
"Only because I adore you, Vincent. And you know what they say. You always hurt the ones you love."
"Fuck off."
"Perhaps later."
Terror.
"As of now, I have a project to complete. You. You'll thank me for it in the long run. And, to prove that I do truly have some compassion, I'll allow you to sleep while I go about tending to this 'wound'."
Hojo laughed, then, and placed a kiss on my forehead. I winced and tried to jerk away, despite the pain that wracked my body for the movement, and barely felt the needle that the professor plunged into my skin. Yet, suddenly, all of the horrible agony faded away, and the clouds in my vision took over, storming and finally tossing me into the darkness of sweet, painless oblivion.
--(Final Chapter upcoming)-
-AgentSwift@yahoo.com